Kyoya's First Love
by paradox7851
Summary: Kyoya the aloof, asexual, and cool type, meets the new girl at Ouran Academey.  She isn't your typical "Shoju"  "Girly-girl" run of the mill gal.  She is intellectual, absent-minded, and eccentric.
1. Meeting Masami

"Attention class, this is your new fellow student, Hiroshi Masami." Announced Sensei Takeshi

A myriad of engaged eyes shifted towards Masumi. An attractive boy in wire rimmed glasses caught a glance at Masami. Their eyes quickly shifted away.

"She has recently transferred here from Yukimura Academy, please make her feel as welcome as possible students...and now to our lesson!"

The class groaned in dismay and began taking out pencils and paper. Masami sat down near an empty window desk. She was a quite attractive female. Masami's nubile head emitted sweeping long wisps of brown hair; her pale face accentuated her refined features, and her staggering hazel eyes glimmered like lustrous polished wood. This encouraged a few love struck faces to arrange themselves in her direction as she charmingly sat down. To discourage any potential love interests Masami shot them each a malicious glare as she began unpacking her school supplies. They looked away in terrified submission. It had appeared as though her continual practice of scathing facial expressions in the mirrors proved to be useful. Although Masami probably wouldn't make any new friends at Ouran anytime soon, she was a rather aloof character, and was indeed indifferent to human contact.

"So class for today's lesson we will be learning about string theory."

Moans filled the class room.

"Ahh! Nooo! My head's going to explode! Don't do it Sensei. Spare us!" Whined a student.

"String theory is for socially inept nerds."

"Yeah no one even cares about a lame geeky theory anyway...LAME!" Added another.

"Physics sucks." Another shouted

Suddenly a desk was overturned with a starling tremor. Paper flew about in the air and pencils smacked the foreheads of nearby students. Masami had combusted in a fit of nerd rage. Students looked around the room in terror.

"String theory is a developing speculation in particle physics that attempts to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity. A manner of describing the known fundamental forces and matter in a mathematically complete system. Do not fuck with this shit or I will torture you all until you all beg me to exterminate your futile existences," screeched Masami.

The classroom then went silent. Then a voice surfaced.

"Sensei, I think it would be best if we showed Masami around the school, perhaps she would be better suited to the class environment if we integrated her via an organic method." Replied the boy in wire rimmed glasses. He pushed the nose piece near the crest of his nose studiously.

Sensei Takashi nodded in agreement. "Yes I think that would be best. Kyoya you may show her around the Ouran school grounds but I expect all your homework to be done, no exceptions."

Kyoya then took Masami by the hand and they curtly walked out the classroom. After they were several paces down the hallway in reserved silence he finally spoke.

"You know for the daughter of Nobu Electric Power I would've expected someone of a less uncouth disposition," said Kyoya in mocking tone.

"Oh, so you must be the famed Kyoya, yes I've heard you have quite an illustrious history," responded Masami irritably.

"So it appears."

"You realize, it's absolutely inane for you to this, I was perfectly capable of handling the situation."

"Obviously not," retorted Kyoya.

They continued to walk down the hallway. Gradually delectable odour blew into their faces. They slowly entered the quite empty room which bore the glorious aroma.

"The cafeteria if you haven't noticed is run by some of the finest chefs in Japan, they prepare food during the morning for students then depart to their other day jobs. It appears as though Chef Chisso is leaving already."

A pudgy man in a dirtied apron approached Kyoya and Masami.

"Hello Kyoya, class out already?" Said Chef Chisso earnestly.

"No I'm just showing the most recent transfer student around Ouran," replied Kyoya.

"Oh there's some leftover food if you'd like. Denso, as much as he's a skilled chocolatier made too many truffles," he laughed presenting Masami with a plate of luscious chocolates. She accepted them cautiously.

"Chocolate is considered to be one of the most romantic foods, At one time it was even considered to be against the law if a man did not present his partner with a box of chocolates weighing at least 100 pounds," said Chef Chisso astutely.

"That's understandable; one of the neurotransmitters, sterotonin is released during the consumption of chocolate. Producing that vague exhilarated sensation," shot Masami abruptly.

A shocked stunned look emerged from Chef Chisso's face.

"As for the supposed law however, I'm sure it's some sort of romanticised myth, fabricated by desuetude chefs who have nothing else to hold onto, besides than their flimsy whisks and protruding bellies. In all probability, some sort of delusion fabricated by individuals from the food preparation industry to subsist their lives of misery and toil," added Masami.

Chef Chisso nodded and quickly left the cafeteria waving a quick farewell, sensing the discomfort and awkwardness of the situation. The echo of distant running and feeble man cries could be heard by a passing echo.

Kyoya then turned to the undisturbed Masami.

"You know for the daughter of Nobu Electric Power I would've expected someone a little more socially responsive."

"He was just validating my inherent mistrust of strangers," replied Masumi. "I just can't trust people!" Shouted Masami. She then attempted to flee the vulnerable position in which she was disposed to but was stopped by the swift reflexes of Kyoya.

"I'm here for you, trust me," whispered Kyoya, grabbing Masumi by the shoulders. The resounding urgency in his voice produced small shivers run down Masami's back.

"I'm just a socially inept girl, jammed behind a barricade of stoic judgment," she whimpered.

"I'm here for you," repeated Kyoya. He approached her slowly and watchfully, with tender eyes.

"I can't, I can't-." "I don't even know you." She shrieked backing away.

"I'm here Masami," he said inching forwards.

She looked at Kyoya with her fearsome hazel eyes. In that moment everything was understood. She then collapsed into his warm convivial arms and began weeping.

"You don't think I've ever disregarded any human feelings? Just ask any member of the host club," said Kyoya in their embrace of longing.

"Yeah Kyoya can be a real detached unwelcoming person!" Exclaimed a pair of redheaded twins. Masami jumped at the unforeseen timing.

"But we love Kyoya! Don't we Mori senpai?" A strong looking boy with a blonde child riding on his broad shoulders jumped into view.

"MOTHER? WHERE ARE YOU MOTHER?" "Oh be quiet Tamaki Senpai!" Snapped a brown haired boy.

A blonde haired boy strolled in exuberantly barely avoiding the stack of chairs in front of him.

"Masami, this is the host club." exclaimed Kyouya.

"Host club?" Replied a shocked Masmi.


	2. The Jockstrap

Although the entire notion of a host club appeared to be morally deviant, Masami gradually grew accustomed to the idea. Accustomed perhaps was not the term that best illustrated her feelings, _sunk _better described her perspective on the matter. The lack of scruples in the idea of a host club had merely _sunk _to the depths of her triage. What worried her more were the hosts themselves, their ever so shocking dispositions and unconventional ways.

For example it irked Masami the way Tamaki assaulted Haruhi on an hourly basis, sexual or otherwise, how Honey stuffed himself on cake and still maintained the figure of a prepubescent child and even the fact Mori hardly spoke a word, as if some ominous lurking sociopath. Although possibly Masami was just passing judgment too quickly, maybe physical harassment in Tamaki's and Haruhi's case was the basis on which their relationship was developed, maybe Honey merely had a high metabolism, even though he ate more than half his weight in baked goods daily, and perhaps Mori could just have a lack of social skills…perhaps? Masami shook her head to rid of the thoughts and made her way to the abandoned music room, as she did everyday after school. The large pearly doors creaked as she opened them.

"Welcome our new best friend!" hollered Tamaki as she entered the room.

He leapt across the marble floors to embrace Masami. "Come here you!"

His arms tightly wrapped around her body, squeezing her as a boa constrictor does to slay it next meal.

"Gah, gah." Cried Masami as she gasped for precious air. She calculated if she did not get a breath of air in the next minute she would die of hypoxia. In an act of desperation Masami then ardently kicked Tamaki in his nut sack, the most vulnerable region on a man. She had watched more than her share of action films and had executed the defense move to pristine ninja perfection, but something felt _wrong_. Conceivably it was the fact she didn't take into account that it was lethal and possibly could affect Tamaki senpai's potential to reproduce offspring one day.

"Ahhgggggg!" screeched Tamaki. He then rolled about on the floor screaming, in fervent spurts of agony. Masami in shock ran out the doors to flee from the doomed situation. Her rapid strides could be heard down the seemingly echoic hallway.

The host club then meandered to the spectacle.

"Well, it was inevitable I guess." observed Karou.

"Yeah, I mean he had it coming to him." replied Hikarou scratching his head.

"Who's going to help Tamaki?" questioned Honey.

"How about you Karou?" suggested Mori.

"No way! I'm not going to fondle his balls until they magically feel better! Who knows where they've been?" he yelled.

"Hey stop it you demonic doppelganger! My balls are perfectly clean! I'll have you know they haven't been anywhere!" retorted Tamaki, laying helpless on the floor.

"So you're a virgin." observed Karou.

"Nooooo! Am not am not!" shouted Tamaki. He shook he pounded the floor in frustration.

Suddenly Kyoya interjected. "I think this matter is over Tamaki and Karou. Karou you don't have to touch Tamaki's scrotum."

Karou looked in relief and sighed.

Kyoya continued. "However the choice is obvious…Haruhi must fulfill her entitled duties as his girlfriend, and well how shall I put this…touch it." He smiled to decrease the tension.

Haruhi looked at Kyoya in horror.

"What? No I'm not going to- No I can't it's too-I mean." Replied Haruhi embarrassed. Her face twisted into a bright red.

"Aww! Harhui you look just like a strawberry!" squeaked Honey. Haruhi put her hand in Honey's face as if to say "not right now."

"Just be gentle Haruhi…" replied Tamaki sensitively. His hand flopped onto this forehead dramatically.

"It's appears it's the only option Harhui. If we go to the nurse she'll suspect something and report to the administrators, some of which include the likes of Tamaki's father. Inevitably the Host Club will be discontinued with your debt still unpaid. It's really your decision. However you will be rewarded for your efforts if you do decide, which will include an offer to exempt a third of your debt if you do the deed. I always keep my promises," replied Kyoya coolly.

Haruhi realizing her doomed the nature of the decision, approached the suffering Tamaki. The walk towards his writhing body was hesitant and unhurried. Haruhi then knelt before him and gradually shifted her hand nearer and nearer towards his scrotal region. She closed her eyes as if to dampen te overall experience of the issue. Her shaking hands nearly brushed over the slight bulge of fabric when Masami quickly shouted.

"Don't Haruhi! He isn't actually hurt!"

The Host club looked at the resurfaced presence of Masami.

"What do you mean not hurt?" said a slightly stunned Haruhi kneeling above the lying body of Tamaki. She slowly glanced at Tamaki suspiciously.

"He has a-a jock strap on! He may have felt initial pain but nothing to the extent he is reciprocating." reasoned Masami.

"What! You don't know, you-you don't even have proof!" shouted Tamaki.

In a small plastic bag Masami revealed a white torn jockstrap.

"I spotted it 10 minutes after I left the room to apologize; it was near the entrance of the room. Custodians usually make 15 minute rounds to check on the hygiene of the school hallways, that jock strap must have been freshly discarded. That's when I strung the evidence together that you must have took it off during your quite convincing episode. and succumbed to the conclusion it was yours! I did some simple forensics tests to verify my hypothesis and now the only thing I'm sorry for is that I ever was!" bellowed Masami.

Haruhi looked at Tamaki in rage. The look was truly terrifying and embraced the very object of contempt.

"Haruhi…don't look at me like that…" winced Tamaki

"YOU PERVERT!" yelled Haruhi abruptly!

Tamaki then quickly got off the ground and ran for his life out into the halls. The host club could have sworn the sound of cracked bones and spilt blood.

"You know as much as the host club seems unusual and all…I think I've somehow grown truly accustomed to all your abnormal antics. I guess that's the first time I've ever sort of had fun…" spoke Masami. (The chase between Tamaki and Haruhi had stopped hours ago)

She reached over to sip tea that had been prepared. "I'm sorry that sort of just slipped out. I mean it wasn't fun but it was fun," she said awkwardly.

"Ha. It mean sort of takes awhile to get used to, but in the end it's really…worth it. What they do may seem weird and all, but down to the core their good people," smiled Harhui.

"I guess we could learn to live with you too Masami…just kidding!" shouted Karou and Hikarou.

Kyoya shifted in his seat and blushed as he picked at his cake.

"Masami and Harhui will you please forgive me?" pleaded Tamaki. He entered the room meekly. (as he had just returned from changing his uniform)

Masami looked absently down into her cup of steaming tea and Harhui continued to eat her strawberry cake. A broken look crossed Tamaki's face.

"Only if you'll accept our punishment." replied Masami after the brief pause.

"Of course."

Masami and Harhui whispered quickly into each other's ears and shook their heads when they had reached a conclusion. They then began to run towards him quickly and tightly squeezed Tamaki as hard as possible.

"GAH." Squeaked Tamaki.


End file.
